1 00:00:00,942 --> 00:00:03,023 Previously on "Sullivan and Son"... 2 00:00:08,867 --> 00:00:12,116 - So, what do we do now? - Not think. 3 00:00:12,466 --> 00:00:14,562 I got this. 4 00:00:25,283 --> 00:00:27,759 So, that happened. 5 00:00:29,266 --> 00:00:31,339 Twice! 6 00:00:32,275 --> 00:00:34,878 And it only took us 28 years. 7 00:00:35,304 --> 00:00:38,136 I know. You're kind of easy. 8 00:00:39,347 --> 00:00:40,781 What can I say? 9 00:00:40,815 --> 00:00:43,450 After two decades of friendship, I give it up like that. 10 00:00:43,485 --> 00:00:44,885 [fingers snap] [chuckles] 11 00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:47,888 [sighs] So, what do we do now? 12 00:00:47,922 --> 00:00:50,758 Well, I could hang here all day. 13 00:00:50,792 --> 00:00:51,925 - Hmm. - Ok Cha: Steve! 14 00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:54,633 [gasps] But that won't be happening! 15 00:00:54,668 --> 00:00:56,430 - Melanie? - Under here. 16 00:00:56,464 --> 00:00:57,798 Are you hiding from my mom? 17 00:00:57,832 --> 00:01:00,234 - Yes. - Good. Go with your gut on that. 18 00:01:00,268 --> 00:01:03,904 Steve, you left your smelly gym bag out here. 19 00:01:03,938 --> 00:01:06,673 A whole lot of stink for no results. 20 00:01:07,976 --> 00:01:10,911 A jellyfish has more definition. 21 00:01:10,945 --> 00:01:12,646 Thanks, mom! 22 00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:15,916 She's gone. Godzilla's heading back to the ocean. 23 00:01:15,950 --> 00:01:19,686 - You know, this changes everything. - I know. 24 00:01:19,721 --> 00:01:22,956 And until we figure out what this is, we keep it our thing. 25 00:01:22,991 --> 00:01:24,525 Is this a thing? 26 00:01:24,559 --> 00:01:26,794 I don't know. Do you want it to be a thing? 27 00:01:26,828 --> 00:01:29,563 - I don't know. - Well, until we decide if our 28 00:01:29,564 --> 00:01:31,965 thing that is not yet a thing is going to be a thing, 29 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:33,534 we don't tell anybody so it becomes a bigger thing. 30 00:01:33,568 --> 00:01:37,371 - And I am done saying "thing." - Yeah, and if people find out, 31 00:01:37,405 --> 00:01:38,839 they'll ruin it before we even know what it is. 32 00:01:38,873 --> 00:01:40,641 Everybody's gonna want details, have an opinion. 33 00:01:40,675 --> 00:01:42,409 They'll probably give us some stupid nickname, 34 00:01:42,444 --> 00:01:44,278 like "Stevanie." 35 00:01:44,312 --> 00:01:47,815 Well, that's not stupid. It's cute. 36 00:01:47,849 --> 00:01:50,284 Okay. We just had our first fight. 37 00:01:50,318 --> 00:01:51,485 [chuckles] 38 00:01:51,519 --> 00:01:55,756 - So, let's keep this you and me? - Easy and fun. 39 00:01:55,790 --> 00:01:57,891 Perfect. Should we shake on it? 40 00:01:57,926 --> 00:02:00,761 Or I can think of another way we could seal the deal. 41 00:02:00,795 --> 00:02:02,429 Works for me. 42 00:02:03,865 --> 00:02:06,834 Jack: Honey, is this a wart or a boil? 43 00:02:06,868 --> 00:02:09,603 - Handshake it is. - Yeah. 44 00:02:13,594 --> 00:02:14,658 [gasps] 45 00:02:14,913 --> 00:02:16,347 Storage room, quick. 46 00:02:16,381 --> 00:02:17,881 This is not how I saw this night ending. 47 00:02:17,916 --> 00:02:19,817 Me neither. 48 00:02:21,486 --> 00:02:24,355 - Steve. - Hank, what are you doing here? 49 00:02:24,389 --> 00:02:27,191 I took the liberty of making myself a key. 50 00:02:27,225 --> 00:02:29,860 Poured myself a beer, paid the $3.50, no tip. 51 00:02:29,894 --> 00:02:31,762 Why should I? I did it all myself. 52 00:02:32,664 --> 00:02:35,199 - You're up early. - Do you do this every morning? 53 00:02:35,233 --> 00:02:37,234 Yeah, Starbucks is always so crowded. 54 00:02:37,268 --> 00:02:39,636 Melanie, what are you doing here? 55 00:02:39,671 --> 00:02:41,905 Steve had a unilateral lumbar displacement. 56 00:02:41,940 --> 00:02:44,675 So I fixed him. Got to go to work. Bye! 57 00:02:44,709 --> 00:02:47,211 Thanks for all your help. 58 00:02:47,245 --> 00:02:48,412 Maybe next time we can meet at your place. 59 00:02:48,446 --> 00:02:50,280 Can next time be tonight? 60 00:02:50,315 --> 00:02:53,283 Let me check... Yeah, that works. 61 00:02:53,318 --> 00:02:56,687 Steve, I'm a little fuzzy before my second beer of the morning, 62 00:02:56,721 --> 00:02:59,623 uh, but that sounded like complete bullshit. 63 00:02:59,657 --> 00:03:01,492 There's nothing wrong with your back. 64 00:03:01,526 --> 00:03:06,897 You Asians bow 15 times a day. What's really going on? 65 00:03:06,931 --> 00:03:09,767 Uh... Melanie had too much to drink last night 66 00:03:09,801 --> 00:03:12,369 and slept it off in the storage room. 67 00:03:12,404 --> 00:03:14,505 Steve, alcohol is a very powerful drug. 68 00:03:14,539 --> 00:03:17,441 It's a sad group of people who let it rule their lives. 69 00:03:17,475 --> 00:03:19,710 Both: Morning. 70 00:03:19,744 --> 00:03:23,914 - Steve, what are you doing here? - I own the bar. 71 00:03:23,948 --> 00:03:25,849 Yeah, but this is kind of our time. 72 00:03:25,884 --> 00:03:27,718 Seriously? 73 00:03:27,752 --> 00:03:29,319 If you want to stay, we're gonna have to put it to a vote. 74 00:03:29,354 --> 00:03:30,521 All in favor? 75 00:03:31,456 --> 00:03:33,957 Sorry, Steve. I'm gonna have to ask you 76 00:03:33,958 --> 00:03:36,393 to get everybody beers and then leave. 77 00:03:38,241 --> 00:03:40,560 3x13 - You, Me and Gary 78 00:03:55,790 --> 00:03:58,816 sync and correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 79 00:03:59,451 --> 00:04:01,852 Guys, my wife's best friend just got a divorce, 80 00:04:01,886 --> 00:04:06,423 so she's spending the night at her house to comfort her and shit. 81 00:04:06,458 --> 00:04:08,425 I don't even have to check in! 82 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:10,961 We should go do something tonight. 83 00:04:10,995 --> 00:04:12,696 We should check out that new dance club, Bada Bounce. 84 00:04:12,730 --> 00:04:14,631 The dance floor is a trampoline. 85 00:04:14,666 --> 00:04:15,999 Owen, I'm not taking you bouncing. 86 00:04:16,034 --> 00:04:17,835 Yeah, last time you were on a trampoline, 87 00:04:17,869 --> 00:04:20,537 - you dislocated your elbow. - I know. It still clicks. 88 00:04:20,572 --> 00:04:22,606 [clicking] Cool, huh? 89 00:04:24,042 --> 00:04:25,642 Just stop! Stop! 90 00:04:25,677 --> 00:04:28,612 I like the club idea. We should try something new. 91 00:04:28,646 --> 00:04:29,713 Yeah, and we don't have to jump. 92 00:04:29,747 --> 00:04:30,948 We can just stand at the edge 93 00:04:30,982 --> 00:04:34,551 - and catch drunk girls, like heroes. - I'm in. Roy? 94 00:04:34,586 --> 00:04:36,453 What the hell? I'm married. I'm not dead. 95 00:04:36,488 --> 00:04:38,589 Unless she catches me. Then I'm both. 96 00:04:38,623 --> 00:04:40,023 Steve, you want to come? 97 00:04:40,058 --> 00:04:42,359 Uh, no, thanks. I'm ... I'm good. 98 00:04:42,393 --> 00:04:44,328 I'm gonna catch some of the football game. 99 00:04:44,362 --> 00:04:45,996 Come on. You'd have a lot more fun 100 00:04:46,030 --> 00:04:49,733 if you were scoring touchdowns in a random lady's bone zone. 101 00:04:49,767 --> 00:04:53,537 I've already got a date with Steve's famous guacamole. 102 00:04:53,571 --> 00:04:55,539 So, who's the lucky lady? 103 00:04:55,573 --> 00:04:58,542 - I'm sorry? - Don't be coy with me. 104 00:04:58,576 --> 00:05:00,544 I can read everyone's sexual aura. 105 00:05:00,578 --> 00:05:03,647 Nothing since last night. 106 00:05:03,681 --> 00:05:05,516 Nothing since D-day. 107 00:05:09,954 --> 00:05:11,622 And you ... [gasps] 108 00:05:11,656 --> 00:05:15,471 you should be ashamed of yourself! 109 00:05:20,064 --> 00:05:21,665 And as for you, 110 00:05:21,699 --> 00:05:24,401 your sexual aura is way different than last night. 111 00:05:24,435 --> 00:05:27,371 You are white-hot, mister. 112 00:05:27,405 --> 00:05:29,406 - There's no girl, Carol. - Please. 113 00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:30,941 You've got all the telltale signs ... 114 00:05:30,975 --> 00:05:33,677 a loopy smile, a spring in your step, 115 00:05:33,711 --> 00:05:37,681 and you just turned down bouncing boobies on a trampoline. 116 00:05:37,715 --> 00:05:39,516 Can't a guy have a loopy smile 117 00:05:39,551 --> 00:05:43,654 - because he's happy with his life? - Not when he has your life. 118 00:05:43,688 --> 00:05:47,057 I wouldn't mind if there was a girl, Steve. 119 00:05:47,091 --> 00:05:49,893 - There's nobody, dad. - Okay. 120 00:05:49,928 --> 00:05:51,929 But if there was, it would bring a balance to our home. 121 00:05:51,963 --> 00:05:53,931 I mean, think about it ... we got a table, four chairs, 122 00:05:53,965 --> 00:05:56,066 we could play bridge, we'd have a dozen doughnuts ... 123 00:05:56,100 --> 00:05:57,834 everybody would get three. 124 00:05:57,869 --> 00:05:59,502 You know, if it's just you, me, and mom, 125 00:05:59,537 --> 00:06:00,871 everybody could get four doughnuts. 126 00:06:00,905 --> 00:06:03,173 Who the hell eats four doughnuts? 127 00:06:05,510 --> 00:06:09,446 - I could be the fourth person. - Any more doughnuts for you 128 00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:12,049 and you could be the fourth and fifth person. 129 00:06:14,818 --> 00:06:16,153 Hi, friends! 130 00:06:16,187 --> 00:06:18,021 - All: Hey, Gary! - Steve! 131 00:06:18,056 --> 00:06:20,457 [imitates static] Coming in for a hug. 132 00:06:20,491 --> 00:06:23,961 [imitates airplane, laughs] 133 00:06:23,995 --> 00:06:25,429 Good to see you, too, Gary. What brings you in? 134 00:06:25,463 --> 00:06:27,097 Let me guess ... charity work. 135 00:06:27,131 --> 00:06:28,832 Well, we in the biz like to call it 136 00:06:28,866 --> 00:06:33,103 self-aggrandizement for the less fortunate. [chuckles] 137 00:06:35,139 --> 00:06:37,741 You Americans and your cry-baby charities. 138 00:06:37,775 --> 00:06:41,011 In Korea, we don't have charities. 139 00:06:41,045 --> 00:06:44,615 If you're homeless and hungry, you dig a hole, live there, 140 00:06:44,649 --> 00:06:47,117 and eat the bugs that crawl in. 141 00:06:47,151 --> 00:06:50,454 Well, harsh as it may sound, Steve, your mother has a point ... 142 00:06:50,488 --> 00:06:53,991 charity has left me with a full heart and an empty wallet. 143 00:06:54,025 --> 00:06:56,793 I've had to get a job so I can keep volunteering 144 00:06:56,828 --> 00:06:58,996 for worthy causes, like scared skinny. 145 00:06:59,030 --> 00:07:00,230 Scared skinny? 146 00:07:00,264 --> 00:07:02,503 Yeah, it's where you put a ski mask on and chase fat 147 00:07:02,504 --> 00:07:04,868 kids around so they can get their 30 minutes of exercise. 148 00:07:04,902 --> 00:07:07,738 Sweet and disturbing all at the same time. 149 00:07:07,772 --> 00:07:11,008 So, Steve, I started up my own business ... massage. 150 00:07:11,042 --> 00:07:13,043 Rub it out with Gary! 151 00:07:14,979 --> 00:07:16,647 Are you sure that's what you want to call it? 152 00:07:16,681 --> 00:07:18,996 - Yeah. Why? - Well, "rubbing it out" 153 00:07:18,997 --> 00:07:20,217 does have another meaning. 154 00:07:20,251 --> 00:07:23,854 Well, if it does, this guy doesn't know it. [chuckles] 155 00:07:23,888 --> 00:07:26,156 Listen, Steve, in this second chapter of my life, 156 00:07:26,190 --> 00:07:28,625 giving massages will be my happy ending. 157 00:07:28,660 --> 00:07:29,926 Oh, boy. 158 00:07:29,961 --> 00:07:32,029 And if you let me set up here in the bar, 159 00:07:32,063 --> 00:07:35,766 everybody here can get a happy ending from me, too! 160 00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:38,769 So what do you say? I could really use the break, old buddy. 161 00:07:38,803 --> 00:07:41,171 Gary, I-I'd love to help you out, but I just don't feel comfortable 162 00:07:41,205 --> 00:07:45,776 - with you giving massages here. - All right. I understand. 163 00:07:45,810 --> 00:07:47,978 The men and women of sing without teeth 164 00:07:48,012 --> 00:07:50,313 will just have to wait for their dentures. 165 00:07:51,683 --> 00:07:53,817 - Hello, neighbor! - Gary. 166 00:07:53,851 --> 00:07:55,819 Hey, you know, they're allowing pets in our building now. 167 00:07:55,853 --> 00:07:58,522 - Really? - Yeah, anytime you want to come by 168 00:07:58,556 --> 00:08:02,659 - and pet my chinchilla, feel free. - Good to know. 169 00:08:02,694 --> 00:08:05,929 - Bye, gang! - All: Bye, Gary! 170 00:08:05,963 --> 00:08:09,099 - Hey, you. - Hi. 171 00:08:09,133 --> 00:08:11,835 So, how have you been since... the last time I saw you? 172 00:08:11,869 --> 00:08:15,572 It's been a long day, but I can't wait for tonight. 173 00:08:15,606 --> 00:08:17,107 - Why is that? - Yeah. Why? 174 00:08:18,576 --> 00:08:22,612 Because I have this really great bottle of wine 175 00:08:22,647 --> 00:08:24,681 I'm looking forward to. 176 00:08:24,716 --> 00:08:27,818 Wine? [scoffs] Your plans are so sad. 177 00:08:27,852 --> 00:08:30,020 You should come with us to the club. 178 00:08:30,054 --> 00:08:31,588 Yeah, you should be our wing-woman. 179 00:08:31,622 --> 00:08:33,824 Girls would feel safer with us if she's around. 180 00:08:33,858 --> 00:08:37,594 Please. With you guys, she'd just look like a hostage. 181 00:08:38,196 --> 00:08:39,663 Sorry, guys, but I can't. 182 00:08:39,697 --> 00:08:41,832 In fact, I should probably be getting home. 183 00:08:45,203 --> 00:08:48,238 What was that about? She was acting kind of weird. 184 00:08:48,272 --> 00:08:49,840 No, she wasn't. 185 00:08:49,874 --> 00:08:52,142 Some people just love a good bottle of wine. 186 00:08:52,176 --> 00:08:53,977 Yeah, maybe too much. 187 00:08:54,011 --> 00:08:57,981 Between us fellas, she's been drinking ... a lot! 188 00:08:58,015 --> 00:09:01,017 - I think she might have a problem. - Get out of here. 189 00:09:01,052 --> 00:09:02,886 - That's Melanie. - It's true! 190 00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:06,256 She was so blitzed last night, she passed out in the storage room! 191 00:09:06,290 --> 00:09:07,991 You know what I heard her say the other night? 192 00:09:08,025 --> 00:09:11,228 "Oh, this job is so hard. I need a beer." 193 00:09:11,262 --> 00:09:14,264 Using booze to deal with your problems? 194 00:09:14,298 --> 00:09:16,733 Classic alcoholic behavior. 195 00:09:18,636 --> 00:09:20,270 Yeah, think about it. 196 00:09:20,304 --> 00:09:23,774 She's here all the time, and she's always drinking. 197 00:09:27,044 --> 00:09:30,986 - Yeah, but so are we. - Yeah, but we're not like her. 198 00:09:30,987 --> 00:09:32,149 We can stop anytime we want. 199 00:09:32,183 --> 00:09:34,717 - Yeah. - Of course. - Yeah. 200 00:09:39,433 --> 00:09:43,636 - So, that happened again. - We're up to three times. 201 00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:46,172 You know, we don't need to keep track. 202 00:09:46,206 --> 00:09:48,708 Your place is so much better. You know, it's private. 203 00:09:48,742 --> 00:09:50,643 Our secret is a lot safer here. 204 00:09:50,677 --> 00:09:54,180 - What are you doing tonight? - That'd be three days in a row. 205 00:09:54,214 --> 00:09:56,682 This is getting dangerously close to becoming a thing. 206 00:09:56,717 --> 00:09:58,684 This time, you said "thing" first. 207 00:09:59,753 --> 00:10:01,987 And aren't we still at the easy and fun part? 208 00:10:02,022 --> 00:10:04,523 Well, you are pretty easy, and I'm having fun. 209 00:10:04,558 --> 00:10:07,026 You are so freaking hot when you say that. 210 00:10:07,060 --> 00:10:09,428 [giggles] 211 00:10:12,466 --> 00:10:15,034 Wow! That's nice. 212 00:10:15,068 --> 00:10:17,036 Ooh, you should have done that last night. 213 00:10:17,070 --> 00:10:19,338 I'm not doing anything. 214 00:10:19,372 --> 00:10:20,606 [both scream] 215 00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:22,475 Both: Gary! 216 00:10:22,509 --> 00:10:25,544 Hey, somebody's loving thy neighbor. [chuckles] 217 00:10:26,613 --> 00:10:29,086 I didn't know you crazy kids boarded the love train. 218 00:10:29,121 --> 00:10:30,316 Toot, toot! 219 00:10:30,450 --> 00:10:34,019 Listen, Gary, we're not really telling anybody about this. 220 00:10:34,054 --> 00:10:36,622 Why not? You found love! 221 00:10:36,656 --> 00:10:39,592 It's like I tell the agoraphobic clowns that I mentor ... 222 00:10:39,626 --> 00:10:41,327 "your joy was meant to be shared! 223 00:10:41,361 --> 00:10:44,330 Nobody wants to watch 30 clowns stay in a tiny car." 224 00:10:44,364 --> 00:10:46,465 And ... and that is vital work that you do, 225 00:10:46,500 --> 00:10:49,435 but for now we'd like to keep it quiet. 226 00:10:49,469 --> 00:10:52,071 I hear you, and I will respect your wishes. 227 00:10:52,105 --> 00:10:54,206 - Thanks for understanding. - No problem. 228 00:10:54,241 --> 00:10:55,741 And I don't want anything in return. 229 00:10:55,776 --> 00:10:58,744 After all, what kind of a friendly friend would I be 230 00:10:58,779 --> 00:11:02,615 if i took advantage of you in your time of need? 231 00:11:03,817 --> 00:11:07,153 Who wants to rub it out with Gary?! 232 00:11:10,657 --> 00:11:16,328 - How was Bada Bounce? - It was awesome. 233 00:11:16,363 --> 00:11:18,330 How could it be awesome? You're in a walking boot. 234 00:11:18,365 --> 00:11:20,099 Yeah, my ankle's probably broken, 235 00:11:20,133 --> 00:11:21,734 but the girl who caught me was hot. 236 00:11:21,768 --> 00:11:25,771 - I got so much action last night. - Really? 237 00:11:25,806 --> 00:11:30,676 Because I'm seeing zero sexual activity in your aura. 238 00:11:30,710 --> 00:11:33,546 It's nothing but pent-up sexual frustration. 239 00:11:33,580 --> 00:11:38,517 I must say, I've never seen this shade of blue before. 240 00:11:38,552 --> 00:11:39,752 Owen: Steve, you should go. 241 00:11:39,786 --> 00:11:43,122 A girl jumped so high, her boob popped out. 242 00:11:43,657 --> 00:11:48,394 Oh, trust me. Steve's been seeing plenty of boobage. 243 00:11:49,563 --> 00:11:52,398 - What's he talking about? - Uh... 244 00:11:52,432 --> 00:11:54,166 I was telling him about a movie I saw last night. 245 00:11:54,201 --> 00:11:58,537 - It was, uh... "Gladiator." - "Gladiator"? 246 00:11:58,572 --> 00:12:01,373 I've seen that movie like 30 times. There's no boobs in it. 247 00:12:01,408 --> 00:12:04,276 That big German guy was pretty stacked. 248 00:12:05,579 --> 00:12:10,449 Silly Gary. I didn't see that movie. I saw..."Showgirls"! 249 00:12:10,483 --> 00:12:14,486 - It's all feathers and boobs. - Yeah, I haven't seen that one. 250 00:12:14,521 --> 00:12:16,455 But I do support shoes for showgirls. 251 00:12:16,489 --> 00:12:19,658 We donate orthotics to aging strippers. 252 00:12:19,693 --> 00:12:21,660 I could use those. My foot's going numb. 253 00:12:21,695 --> 00:12:24,296 Or Melanie could help me. Has anyone seen her? 254 00:12:24,331 --> 00:12:26,165 I bet she's pounding a bottle of night train 255 00:12:26,199 --> 00:12:27,600 in the alley right now. 256 00:12:27,634 --> 00:12:31,136 - What are you guys talking about? - Didn't you hear? 257 00:12:31,171 --> 00:12:33,172 Melanie's a raging alcoholic. 258 00:12:33,206 --> 00:12:36,275 I hear she's on the short list for a new liver. 259 00:12:37,077 --> 00:12:41,714 If she can't get one, tell her I'll sell her Susan's. 260 00:12:41,748 --> 00:12:45,503 Have you guys lost your minds? Melanie is not an alcoholic. 261 00:12:45,573 --> 00:12:48,187 Hah. Says the guy making money off her addiction. 262 00:12:48,221 --> 00:12:50,289 Steve, you're an enabler. 263 00:12:50,323 --> 00:12:52,291 You're right, Hank. Give me back your beer. 264 00:12:52,325 --> 00:12:54,860 I may have overstepped. I apologize. 265 00:12:56,730 --> 00:12:59,899 Pardon me, young Susan, may I approach your shoulders? 266 00:12:59,933 --> 00:13:02,768 Uh... okay. 267 00:13:02,802 --> 00:13:06,505 You are a giant ball of tension. Are you hunched over a computer all day? 268 00:13:06,539 --> 00:13:07,773 Yeah, I'm an accountant. 269 00:13:07,807 --> 00:13:09,775 It's been really stressful at work lately. 270 00:13:09,809 --> 00:13:12,728 Oh, well, instead of crunching numbers, why don't we crunch the 271 00:13:12,729 --> 00:13:16,548 - knots out of your back? - Oh, god! Don't stop! 272 00:13:19,953 --> 00:13:21,487 Maybe we should do this in private. 273 00:13:23,623 --> 00:13:27,593 It'll just be you, me, and my magic fingers. 274 00:13:27,627 --> 00:13:29,328 And listen ... no extra charge 275 00:13:29,362 --> 00:13:31,897 if you want to talk while I'm rubbing you out. 276 00:13:34,434 --> 00:13:37,703 [Susan moaning loudly] 277 00:13:39,973 --> 00:13:42,341 What is that? 278 00:13:42,375 --> 00:13:47,513 It sounds like a Korean water ghost giving birth to a demon. 279 00:13:47,547 --> 00:13:51,283 - Steve, please make it stop! - I got this, guys. 280 00:13:51,318 --> 00:13:52,584 Hey, can you guys keep it down? 281 00:13:52,619 --> 00:13:53,786 You're making everybody uncomfortable. 282 00:13:53,820 --> 00:13:56,755 All right, all right. All finished. 283 00:13:56,790 --> 00:13:58,891 Thanks, Gary. I feel fantastic. 284 00:13:58,925 --> 00:14:01,249 Aah! Stop smiling. 285 00:14:01,250 --> 00:14:02,928 It's creepy. 286 00:14:04,698 --> 00:14:09,635 - Hi. I'm Chad. - Hey. 287 00:14:09,669 --> 00:14:11,603 You are way too pretty to be in a place like this. 288 00:14:11,638 --> 00:14:14,873 - Let me take you out to somewhere nice. - Sorry. She can't. 289 00:14:14,908 --> 00:14:17,376 - Why is that? - Yeah. Why? 290 00:14:18,645 --> 00:14:21,680 Really, I'd love to, but I already have plans. 291 00:14:21,715 --> 00:14:23,482 That's why. 292 00:14:23,516 --> 00:14:25,250 Steve, can I get a drink? 293 00:14:25,285 --> 00:14:26,819 - Sure. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 294 00:14:26,853 --> 00:14:28,887 She's an alcoholic! 295 00:14:30,924 --> 00:14:32,024 Is it time? 296 00:14:34,928 --> 00:14:39,698 "Dear Melanie, your excessive drinking has impacted us all negatively. 297 00:14:39,733 --> 00:14:42,935 There is a van waiting outside." 298 00:14:42,969 --> 00:14:45,404 Is there a van? Did we get a van? 299 00:14:45,438 --> 00:14:46,772 What is happening? 300 00:14:46,806 --> 00:14:49,575 - We're ending your downward spiral. - This is an intervention. 301 00:14:49,609 --> 00:14:52,311 Your days of being an alcoholic are over. 302 00:14:52,345 --> 00:14:55,247 Alcoholic? I am not an alcoholic! 303 00:14:55,281 --> 00:14:56,849 Would you excuse us, boys? 304 00:14:56,883 --> 00:14:58,984 I got it. I-I'll take care of it. 305 00:14:59,019 --> 00:15:01,587 Seriously, is there a van or not? 306 00:15:01,621 --> 00:15:07,292 Oh. [chuckles] Little afternoon delight? 307 00:15:09,295 --> 00:15:10,796 Everybody thinks I'm an alcoholic? 308 00:15:10,830 --> 00:15:12,931 Hank didn't buy that I hurt my back, 309 00:15:12,966 --> 00:15:15,434 so off the top of my head, I told him you got drunk, 310 00:15:15,468 --> 00:15:16,969 slept it off in the storage room, 311 00:15:17,003 --> 00:15:19,271 and, snowball, snowball, you're an alcoholic. 312 00:15:19,305 --> 00:15:21,273 Are you freaking kidding me? 313 00:15:21,307 --> 00:15:22,808 I'm sorry. I was trying to keep things quiet. 314 00:15:22,842 --> 00:15:24,810 Carol's suspicious. Gary almost blew it. 315 00:15:24,844 --> 00:15:26,412 Okay. 316 00:15:26,446 --> 00:15:30,282 But why do I need to be an alcoholic? Why can't you be gay? 317 00:15:30,316 --> 00:15:35,020 I don't have to be gay because you're already an alcoholic. 318 00:15:35,055 --> 00:15:37,022 I'm not doing this. 319 00:15:37,057 --> 00:15:38,891 Well, it's either that or we tell everybody. 320 00:15:38,925 --> 00:15:41,693 Then the entire bar is involved in every detail of our lives. 321 00:15:41,728 --> 00:15:43,362 So what do we do? 322 00:15:43,396 --> 00:15:47,433 The first step is admitting you have a problem. 323 00:15:47,467 --> 00:15:51,570 As much fun as it sounds, I am not going to be an alcoholic. 324 00:15:51,604 --> 00:15:53,898 Well, we have to do something so they don't find out about us. 325 00:15:53,933 --> 00:15:55,337 Yeah. 326 00:15:55,372 --> 00:15:57,576 How about I go out with that guy who just asked me out? 327 00:15:57,610 --> 00:15:59,378 Well, I guess that could work. 328 00:15:59,412 --> 00:16:02,781 - You know, he's kind of good-looking. - Oh, really? Hadn't noticed. 329 00:16:02,816 --> 00:16:05,484 - Not funny. - Come on. Little funny. 330 00:16:06,753 --> 00:16:09,455 [clicking] See, still clicks. It's cool, huh? 331 00:16:09,489 --> 00:16:11,023 Please stop. 332 00:16:12,926 --> 00:16:16,028 So, guys, Steve really set me straight in there. 333 00:16:16,062 --> 00:16:17,696 My problem isn't drinking. 334 00:16:17,730 --> 00:16:20,032 It's that I've been ignoring my personal life. 335 00:16:20,066 --> 00:16:22,634 I need to get out more. And Brad here ... 336 00:16:22,669 --> 00:16:23,802 - Chad. - Tad. 337 00:16:23,837 --> 00:16:26,204 - Chad. - It really doesn't matter. 338 00:16:26,639 --> 00:16:29,041 - We're going out. - Cool. Let's go. 339 00:16:32,045 --> 00:16:35,547 I know I'm a dude, but I got to say, he was good-looking. 340 00:16:35,582 --> 00:16:38,083 And judging from the very large bulge in his aura, 341 00:16:38,118 --> 00:16:41,920 - she should be very satisfied. - All right, can we stop talking 342 00:16:41,955 --> 00:16:44,056 about Brad, Tad, Chad, whatever his name is? 343 00:16:44,090 --> 00:16:45,891 You look tense, my friend. 344 00:16:45,925 --> 00:16:48,360 You want the big guy to rub you out? 345 00:16:48,394 --> 00:16:49,995 No! 346 00:16:58,019 --> 00:17:01,322 Chad, you're a nice guy, but I shouldn't be here. 347 00:17:01,356 --> 00:17:03,057 Truthfully, neither should I. 348 00:17:03,091 --> 00:17:05,292 I just got out of a six-month relationship. 349 00:17:05,327 --> 00:17:07,328 Her name's Lisa. Still an open wound. 350 00:17:07,362 --> 00:17:09,063 Everything reminds me of her. 351 00:17:09,097 --> 00:17:12,132 - I'm sorry. - Lisa used to say, "I'm sorry." 352 00:17:13,668 --> 00:17:16,136 - Can I show you some pictures of her? - Sure. Why not? 353 00:17:16,171 --> 00:17:18,939 This is Lisa with the dog I gave her. 354 00:17:18,974 --> 00:17:21,208 With the parrot I gave her. 355 00:17:21,242 --> 00:17:24,712 With the rabbit I gave her. 356 00:17:27,048 --> 00:17:30,084 [voice breaking] I work in a pet store. 357 00:17:31,386 --> 00:17:34,088 Oh, yeah, that's ... that's hard. 358 00:17:34,122 --> 00:17:35,356 [thud] 359 00:17:35,390 --> 00:17:38,092 Oh, Chad, you dropped your phone. 360 00:17:38,126 --> 00:17:39,860 Here, I'll get it. 361 00:17:46,267 --> 00:17:49,870 Melanie's been gone a long time. I wonder what she's doing. 362 00:17:49,904 --> 00:17:52,773 Maybe he took her to Bada Bounce after dinner. 363 00:17:52,807 --> 00:17:55,209 Yeah, I bet they're bada-bouncing. 364 00:17:55,243 --> 00:17:56,677 No, they're not! 365 00:17:57,846 --> 00:18:02,049 I mean, she's a paramedic. She knows the dangers of trampolining. 366 00:18:02,083 --> 00:18:03,651 Steve! Steve! Oh! 367 00:18:03,685 --> 00:18:05,119 I don't know how to tell you this! 368 00:18:05,153 --> 00:18:06,720 I was near the ... well, Melanie was ... 369 00:18:06,755 --> 00:18:08,322 this is harder than combing through the tangles 370 00:18:08,356 --> 00:18:10,024 in a homeless man's hair, 371 00:18:10,058 --> 00:18:13,327 which I do every Wednesday at Hairdos for the homeless. 372 00:18:13,361 --> 00:18:15,829 Gary! You're gonna tell me something. 373 00:18:15,864 --> 00:18:17,264 Oh, yes. What I was going to say was that ... 374 00:18:17,298 --> 00:18:20,701 - She's a whore! - What?! 375 00:18:20,735 --> 00:18:22,369 I saw you on your little "date." 376 00:18:22,404 --> 00:18:25,339 Did you really think I wouldn't tell my best friend Steve 377 00:18:25,373 --> 00:18:28,676 that you were copping that young man's doodle under the table?! 378 00:18:28,710 --> 00:18:31,211 I didn't cop anyone's doodle! 379 00:18:31,246 --> 00:18:34,181 A likely story, you two-timing tramp! 380 00:18:34,215 --> 00:18:37,685 And to think we share a common mailbox area! 381 00:18:37,719 --> 00:18:40,354 Oh, for god's sake, he dropped his phone 382 00:18:40,388 --> 00:18:42,990 while he was showing me pictures of his ex-girlfriend. 383 00:18:43,024 --> 00:18:44,258 I picked it up for him. 384 00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:47,861 It did look like he was crying. 385 00:18:47,896 --> 00:18:50,698 I really just thought you were bad at it. 386 00:18:50,732 --> 00:18:52,733 All right, I rescind my "whore" accusation. 387 00:18:52,767 --> 00:18:56,704 Steve, you'll be pleased to learn that your lady love is pure. 388 00:18:56,738 --> 00:18:57,971 All: Lady love? 389 00:18:58,006 --> 00:19:01,842 I knew it! Both of your auras are perfectly in line. 390 00:19:01,876 --> 00:19:03,410 Is he saying what I think he's saying? 391 00:19:03,445 --> 00:19:05,813 I don't understand what anyone is saying. 392 00:19:05,847 --> 00:19:07,147 What's the deal, Steve? 393 00:19:07,182 --> 00:19:08,882 - Talk to us. - What's happening? 394 00:19:08,917 --> 00:19:10,951 All right, all right, all right! Everybody stop! 395 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:15,122 Melanie and I... are dating. 396 00:19:15,156 --> 00:19:16,990 Whaaa? 397 00:19:18,426 --> 00:19:21,895 - We are? - Yeah. Right? 398 00:19:21,930 --> 00:19:24,465 Yeah. Right. 399 00:19:24,499 --> 00:19:26,467 - So great! - What terrific news! 400 00:19:26,501 --> 00:19:29,069 [clicking] 401 00:19:30,104 --> 00:19:32,473 This is fantastic. 402 00:19:32,507 --> 00:19:34,265 Well, we ... we just started going out, Jack. 403 00:19:34,300 --> 00:19:36,477 - It's not serious. - Oh, I understand. 404 00:19:36,511 --> 00:19:38,812 Just call me dad. 405 00:19:38,847 --> 00:19:42,349 Are you a-a glazed or a jelly-doughnut kind of girl? 406 00:19:42,383 --> 00:19:43,884 Please say glazed. 407 00:19:43,918 --> 00:19:45,419 I always knew you two would hook up. 408 00:19:45,453 --> 00:19:47,755 Yeah, you've had a crush on her since you were 12. 409 00:19:47,789 --> 00:19:49,890 And it just took me 22 years to act on it. 410 00:19:49,924 --> 00:19:53,259 Can't wait till you propose when you're 93. 411 00:19:53,428 --> 00:19:57,297 - I also do couples massage. - Gary, get your chair out of my bar. 412 00:19:57,332 --> 00:19:59,166 I know that sexual endorphins 413 00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:01,769 can make you say things that you don't mean. 414 00:20:01,803 --> 00:20:04,037 You know, in my work with the sexually ... 415 00:20:04,072 --> 00:20:06,373 - Out! - Bye, gang! 416 00:20:06,407 --> 00:20:08,008 All: Bye, Gary! 417 00:20:08,042 --> 00:20:10,911 That wasn't so bad. Everybody's being really nice. 418 00:20:10,945 --> 00:20:13,345 Ok Cha: I don't know why we're celebrating. 419 00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:16,977 My son, who gave up being a big New York lawyer, 420 00:20:17,012 --> 00:20:21,139 is dating a taxi driver for sick people. 421 00:20:27,048 --> 00:20:30,917 - Uh, here's to our first date. - First date. 422 00:20:30,951 --> 00:20:32,185 - You folks ready? - Mm. 423 00:20:32,219 --> 00:20:33,986 Ladies first. 424 00:20:34,021 --> 00:20:36,322 I will have the fettucine alfredo, 425 00:20:36,356 --> 00:20:39,459 - and he'll have the steak. - I will? 426 00:20:39,493 --> 00:20:41,127 Yeah. That's what you always get. 427 00:20:41,161 --> 00:20:43,796 Yeah, I just thought I might try something different. 428 00:20:43,831 --> 00:20:46,399 Okay, wild man, what are you gonna get? [chuckles] 429 00:20:46,433 --> 00:20:49,368 Well... I'll have the steak. 430 00:20:50,370 --> 00:20:52,972 - To dating. - To dating. 431 00:21:00,497 --> 00:21:04,065 sync and correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~